The Android's Hideout

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bucky-barnes-booty:

lasttostrike:

Ok so I’m at Whataburger and I’m eating french fries, right? Well I go to pick up my last fry and

image

ITS FUCKING PRINTED ON THE PAPER

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME THIS WAY

THIS IS EVIL

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE
demon: i possessed you
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

its-tuesday-again:

that’s my kind of price

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE
inwhichifeelallthefeels:

fanfictionfromtheshadowrealm:

miss-nerdgasmz:

miss-nerdgasmz:

everyonelovesrobots:

seasonalweasel:

hyrules-moon:

blindtank:

laughhard:

submitted by

:i

What is that

Stop playing

fUCKIGN

#REALLY

#I’m shaking my head to see it #I’m shaking my head now in disapproval

shook my laptop instead.

I clicked and dragged it.

inwhichifeelallthefeels:

fanfictionfromtheshadowrealm:

miss-nerdgasmz:

miss-nerdgasmz:

everyonelovesrobots:

seasonalweasel:

hyrules-moon:

blindtank:

laughhard:

submitted by

:i

What is that

Stop playing

fUCKIGN

#REALLY

#I’m shaking my head to see it #I’m shaking my head now in disapproval

shook my laptop instead.

I clicked and dragged it.

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE
4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

hornyspice:

tokomon:

"you should smile more"

image

image

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

officialunitedstates:

pemsylvania:

officialunitedstates:

for some reason my watch doesn’t work at night

?? what kind of watch do you have

image

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

lordwhat:

red dwarf messed with my sense of humour so much

i mean:

image

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE
thefearsomefanagle:

This gif always makes me stop. How did this man gain so much backward momentum? What kind of shoes is he wearing? I have so many questions

thefearsomefanagle:

This gif always makes me stop. How did this man gain so much backward momentum? What kind of shoes is he wearing? I have so many questions

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE
fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

ruinedchildhood:

Waldo The Movie - Official Trailer [Video]

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

skelitas:

i’m basically “pro-do whatever you want as long as you’re enjoying yourself and not hurting other people”

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

carry-on-wayward-fallen-angel:

this fucking episode…

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE

When that one blogger that you admire a lot reblogs something from you and you r just like

image

4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE
4 days ago on August 17th, 2014 |J |VIA -SOURCE